This pregnancy has been oh so much harder than my first one. I'll spare you the sob story details but everything about this pregnancy has been painful or at the very least annoying. And I'm only 15 weeks!!! I've gone to a water aerobics class a few times and it seems to really help my back. My wonderful mom is giving up her evenings to come baby sit for me. May and I are so lucky to have her!
I know a lot of people say their girls were really easy and their boys were really hard or vice versa so we're thinking it may be a boy. Also it would be terribly convenient if it were a girl due to the fact that we already have everything we need and we have already agreed on a girls name-so doesn't that automatically make it a boy??? Guess we'll find out in a few weeks.
I must share one experience for my own journaling purposes. This was planned but as soon as we knew we were pregnant I think Zach and I both kind of went, "Hmm, why did we decide to do this again?" First of all I've been so miserable and on top of that I was worried about how we were going to pay our deductible, worried that we aren't going to have a house by the time it gets here and will have no room for it, worried about neglecting May or being a bad mom to her because I'm so tired from being up with the baby, worried that this baby is going to be so much harder than May was, and worrying that I am not going to love this baby as much as I do May. I just wasn't excited or happy about it at all. This of course made me feel bad for being such a terrible mom to this baby inside of me that we have been blessed with.
When I went in for my first doctors appointment and they did the ultrasound and listened to the heartbeat I just felt this overwhelming feeling of peace. I know this baby is being sent to our family now for a reason and that we were right to try for it. I know we are going to love it just as much as we love May. I know May is going to be a great older sister. I'm still worried about the other things but it's not consuming me like it was before. I am really excited now and can deal with all the pregnancy aches and woes for this little one with a good attitude (even if it doesn't show to the outside world my inside feels better:).